Damage from Ohayocon 2011:
Negima!? the complete series
honey and clover: all 3 seasons
Paradise Kiss complete set
Azumanga Daioh complete collection
and Gankutsuou: The Count of Monte Cristo complete series (only 25 bucks!!!)
A little deeper in the pocket than I wanted to go, but I haven't spent practically anything on entertainment this past couple years, doing nothing but school, work and volunteering. I've gone to exactly two movies in the last 12 months, and one was at the dollar theatre.
I got my face drawn, complete with the tiger ears too, just a buck.
And the anime is all authentic releases, not bootleg, so I don't feel as bad spending a teeny bit more ... especially when some is so hard to find outside online bootleggers.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
I hate to leave, but love and passion don't pay the bills ... i hate venting, it feels so degrading.
So I haven't posted in a while ... a make believe life seems to have taken over via school. I only have a campus job right now, as I can't work full time on account of my class schedule ... about 20 hours a week would be perfect as all I have is work study = no income outside that which goes toward tuition and rent. I've kind of been holding out for a specific job ... not looking at other things because I sorta thought I was a shoe-in. In fact, apparently 6 years of assisting and picking up the slack of the previous person, being on the active youth committee when it was where they want it to be again, and working with youth of every age group through 2 other organizations doesn't amount to enough experience to be paid for what I've been doing for free for the last 6 years. "We don't want you to be disenchanted, and we'd like you to continue to help since you clearly have a passion for youth" [we're just not willing to pay you a cent for all the work you do]. Well, I'm sorry, but I can't afford to do everything for free. For years, I've said yes whenever asked ... but I have no income!!!! I can't afford the gas to come back multiple times a week and work with the kids I love and have come to genuinely care for. I hate to leave, but I'm afraid that passion and love don't pay the bills. I'll have to find something else, somewhere else. If not in Ohio, then somewhere else.
Friday, October 8, 2010
back in ohio ... what now?
Haven't felt like blogging in quite some time ... life gets in the way I guess, but what real life do I even have?
I'm back where I thought I wanted to be, only to find myself wanting to flee once again. I missed friends and family, but have barely seen anyone outside my immediate family, and that's sad. Supposed friends I thought I had have moved on with their own lives ... new circles I'm not a part of, busy with new families, or just empty promises of doing something.
I thought this is what I wanted, but have come to find out through the years that wants aren't set in stone. I have things I'm passionate about, and desires, but wants seem to escape me. I would like a new game console, a new desktop computer capable of running the new final fantasy, I'd like a new camera ... or rather to switch camera systems. What is want? All these things aren't so important that my life would change drastically if I did or didn't have them. When I think of wants, I connect it to passion. Something you cling to the idea of so tightly that it consumes you ... I can only think of one real want right now, and it's an impossibility.
I always told myself that I wanted to settle in Ohio ... thinking that's why I moved back home at this point. I think after only being back a mere 4 months that I've realized that I'm not ready to settle. It's not that I don't want to do the whole get married and have children thing ... I'd actually like to do that (really want to share my life w/ someone ... really want to be a mom), but the opportunity hasn't really presented itself yet.
Of life and love ... I know I've been in love once ... I may have been in love twice ... the first seemed to be one-sided, while the maybe just was never figured out. In both cases, I never dated them, almost the second one, but nothing ever came of them. Outside of family and really close friends I care about, I don't think I've even said "I love you" romantically and meant it. I really want that. After years on unrequited "like", I'm ready to move on with the real thing. Is it here, or do I have to go and find it?
I'm back where I thought I wanted to be, only to find myself wanting to flee once again. I missed friends and family, but have barely seen anyone outside my immediate family, and that's sad. Supposed friends I thought I had have moved on with their own lives ... new circles I'm not a part of, busy with new families, or just empty promises of doing something.
I thought this is what I wanted, but have come to find out through the years that wants aren't set in stone. I have things I'm passionate about, and desires, but wants seem to escape me. I would like a new game console, a new desktop computer capable of running the new final fantasy, I'd like a new camera ... or rather to switch camera systems. What is want? All these things aren't so important that my life would change drastically if I did or didn't have them. When I think of wants, I connect it to passion. Something you cling to the idea of so tightly that it consumes you ... I can only think of one real want right now, and it's an impossibility.
I always told myself that I wanted to settle in Ohio ... thinking that's why I moved back home at this point. I think after only being back a mere 4 months that I've realized that I'm not ready to settle. It's not that I don't want to do the whole get married and have children thing ... I'd actually like to do that (really want to share my life w/ someone ... really want to be a mom), but the opportunity hasn't really presented itself yet.
Of life and love ... I know I've been in love once ... I may have been in love twice ... the first seemed to be one-sided, while the maybe just was never figured out. In both cases, I never dated them, almost the second one, but nothing ever came of them. Outside of family and really close friends I care about, I don't think I've even said "I love you" romantically and meant it. I really want that. After years on unrequited "like", I'm ready to move on with the real thing. Is it here, or do I have to go and find it?
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